A father has come under fire online about the way he reacted to his teenage son revealing the truth about his sexuality—although some were able to relate to the dad.

The dad’s reaction caused a rift after he had shared in a post to the social media platform Reddit that he had reacted poorly to his son coming out to him.

On the sub-Reddit “Am I The A******?” the dad wrote: “I’ve always known my son had an interest in men. He was slow on the pick up of incognito mode, and from the searches he made, I figured he was at least ‘bi-curious’ since he hit puberty.

“Well, last year, he started bringing a boy around, and it was obvious they were dating, to the point I figured that he knew I knew, and it wasn’t a big deal to anyone,” the Redditor opened up online.”

“Well, apparently, I was wrong. After school yesterday he and his boyfriend came up to me and said there was something really important they needed to tell me. My son said that they were dating and had been for a year.

“Well, I was surprised that he wasn’t aware I knew and was a bit thrown off. My mouth moved faster than my brain and I said ‘Well, that’s pretty f****** gay.’ Now, I thought it was peak comedy. However, I understand that using the word gay in that way gives a very negative undertone,” he added.

The man went on to share that his son and his boyfriend became very upset following his reaction, and swiftly left.

Angelika Koch is a certified life and relationship coach. She told Newsweek that the parent who’d shared this story on Reddit had failed to support his child in a vulnerable moment, and that he should take full responsibility for any offense caused.

“Coming out of the closet is one of the most challenging things a person in the LGBTQIA+ community can do, because they are not only making the decision to be publicly true to themselves in a world that often discriminates against them, but they are also taking the risk of being rejected and even ostracized by those they are closest to,” she told Newsweek.

“The build-up to coming out can be a nerve-wracking experience because of all that is at stake. When it finally does happen, it’s essential not to joke around, as the one coming out might feel as though you are not taking this moment as seriously as they are. This can be a painful experience for them because of the strength it took to tell you in the first place.

“All of us have had moments where our mouth moves faster than our brain, and we say something we wish we hadn’t. When this happens, it is important to have a private conversation with the person we hurt and take full responsibility for our actions,” she added.

Koch suggested that the parent acknowledge how their words may have negatively impacted their son, and offer him and his boyfriend some understanding.

“Instead of asking, ‘will you forgive me,’ say, ‘I understand it might take you time to forgive me, but I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for hurting you.’ When you ask someone to forgive you, it pressures the other person to forgive, even if they are not ready. By saying that, you understand it may take time,” Koch added.

The life coach went on to say that it is important that the father allow his son time to process what happened and come to forgive him, instead of rushing him to get over what happened quickly.

What Do the Comments Say?

Since it was shared to the social media platform on August 24 by u/LostNConfused1010, the Reddit post has been upvoted by 89 percent of the users who engaged with it and commented on over 1,800 times.

The top rated commenter, said: “Definitely YTA (Your The A******). They came to you for support and you tried to be funny about it.” Another commented: “YTA but I see what you were trying to do.”

Another user added: “Just wanted to add that if/when you apologize, please apologize to the boyfriend too, we don’t know if his parents know or how they handled it and it might have hurt him.”

Others backed the dad.

One understanding user said: “I’m guilty of blurting things out all the time (aren’t we all?) The point is, you didn’t mean any harm at all, just a slip of the tongue while being caught off guard.”

“I won’t lie, as someone who has been out and proud for years that joke made me laugh my a** off. But your son needed support more than humor,” one user wrote.

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